How to make yourself more disciplined and focused to achieve your goals?
There was a man, Lucas. He’s a young man about to enter college. He’s at a difficult life growing up with his only parent, his mother and a younger sister. He’s living an unhealthy life and constantly indulges himself in partying, drinking alcohol and smoking.
One day, his mother got sick and was rushed to the hospital, the most important person in his life who rocked through all the difficult times, was on the verge of death. She put a good fight but unfortunately passed away and Lucas became the man of the house. Not only he had to take care of himself but her sister as well.
It was summer break and Lucas immediately took on a full-time job as a janitor, he had to provide food himself and his sister. His only goal was to go on work each day and clean. He took on every opportunity at extra shifts his discipline and hard work was unwavering. He used the money to buy junk food for himself and his sister for dinner every night.
He didn’t want to tell his friends that he was working as a janitor so when they asked him to go out in the evening and party, he decided that he would tell them that he has to teach her sister and cook dinner.
Lucas fell into the flow of going to work every day and eventually got used to it, now it wasn’t a chore for him anymore. He decided not to buy junk food for dinner instead he would cook a healthy dinner after work each day and then prepare breakfast for the next day. He kept this routine up. Working and then cooking, finally his college was to start and he had to attend classes. He was juggling a lot once so he rolled his hours back to part-time and made sure to attend class every day, so he didn’t fall behind.
Regardless of how he felt, he kept attending classes, working and cooking. He was able to put himself through college and graduate with honors. He got a good paying job upon graduation and maintained his good habits. Eventually he was able to put his younger sister to college as well. He got married and her sister too.
How he turned his life around and went from lazy and out of control to discipline and in control of his destiny? He became disciplined, but how did he do it?
The first big reason for Lucas was a STRONG REASON WHY
When his mother passed, he had to take responsibilities of the house and take care of her sister. It was literally a do or die.
Studies showed that a strong motivating reason why, allows people to tap into willpower reserves that they might otherwise not have been able to. This reminds me of those movies where you see the boxer down to his bits of energy in the final round, but then he has a flashback of a powerful memory of why he’s doing this. Perhaps winning against all odds in memory of someone close to him who passed away. Whatever Lucas had done, it would be difficult if he wouldn’t have a strong WHY.
In our case, Lucas started by focusing on one task only, which was a good idea. You should work every day, once that became a habit, focus onto another, and that’s the key to be wise with how we spend our self-discipline and to use it on singular activities and turn into habits before moving onto another. The first habit could have been a simple as drinking water every day or making your bed every morning.
When an activity becomes a habit it drains a lot less willpower. Lucas also faces dilemma that many people were trying to come between his routine. Peer pressure, his friends represented a temptation into his old life. An easier life requires lot less responsibility.
If-then Technique
There were two reasons that Lucas was able to overcome this dilemma: He had a strong reason WHY and he planned for temptation. In fact it’s the very specific technique known as if-then technique.
He had planned that if his friends ask him to go out and party then he would tell them that he had to teach her sister and cook dinner. This is a pre-planned decision of self control. This is a great strategy to use when we anticipate that there will be times when temptations will arise and our willpower might below, it’s an automatic and pre-planned response to temptation.
By finding his strong WHY, developing his discipline through singular activities and pre-planning for temptations, Lucas was able to become more disciplined and overcome his adversities.
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