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How to Be Confident: 3 Simple Tips to Build Real Confidence

When faced with a big challenge, you might wonder how to be confident and overcome fear of failure, maybe you’ve heard this advice before: “Be more confident.” And most likely, this is what you think when you hear it: “If only it were that simple.”

What Confidence Really Means

Believe you are valuable and capable (self-esteem). Add optimism from knowing your abilities, and use it to act courageously when facing challenges. This is confidence. It turns thoughts into action. Building self-esteem and self-worth is an important part of developing lasting confidence

So where does this confidence even come from?

There are several factors that impact confidence,

  • One: What you’re born with, such as your genes, which will impact things like the balance of neurochemicals in your brain.
  • Two: how you’re treated. This includes the social pressures of your environment.
  • And three: the part you’ve control over, the choices you make, the risks you take, and how you think about and respond to challenges and setbacks.

We can’t fully separate these three factors, but our choices strongly influence confidence. With a few practical tips, we can cultivate our own confidence.

woman smiling and raising fist to show how to be confident and self-assured
Confidence grows when you believe in yourself and celebrate progress.

Tip 1: Quick Fixes to Feel Confident Instantly

There are few tricks that can give you an immediate confidence boost in the short-term.

Picture success when starting a tough task. Even listening to deep bass music, striking a power pose, or giving yourself a pep talk can boost confidence.

Tip 2: Believe in Your Ability to Improve Confidence

If you’re looking for a long-term change, consider the way you think about your abilities and talents. Do you think they are fixed at birth, or that they can be developed, like a muscle?

These beliefs matter because they can influence how you act when you’re faced with setbacks. If you have a fixed mindset, meaning that you think your talents are locked in place, you might give up, assuming you’ve discovered something you’re not very good at. But if you have a growth mindset and think your abilities can improve, a challenge is an opportunity to learn and grow. Neuroscience supports the growth mindset.

The connection in your brain do get stronger and grow with study and practice. It also turns out, on average, people who have a growth mindset are more successful, getting better grades, and doing better in the face of challenges. Discover the benefits of a positive mindset to keep improving your self-belief.

thoughtful young woman looking up, learning how to be confident and improve self-esteem
Confidence begins with self-reflection and understanding your own strengths.

Tip 3: Practice Failure to Grow Stronger

Face it, you’re going to fail sometimes. Everyone does. J.K. Rowling was rejected by twelve different publishers before one picked up “Harry Potter.” The Wright Brothers built on history’s failed attempts at flight, including some of their own, before designing a successful airplane.

Studies show that those who fail regularly and keep trying anyway are better equipped to respond to challenges and setbacks in a constructive way. They learn how to try different strategies, ask others for advice, and preserve. According to research on building self-confidence, learning from failure and adapting your approach can significantly increase your confidence over time.

So, think of challenge you want to take on, realize it’s not going to be easy, accept that you’ll make mistakes, and be kind to yourself when you do. Give yourself a pep talk, stand up, and go for it. The excitement you’ll feel knowing that whatever the result, you’ll have gained greater knowledge and understanding. This is confidence.

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